Thursday, 18 April 2013

Stop Making Sense

I'm not sure if this woman is a comedic genius or absolutely nuts; Samantha Brick's thoughts on diet and weight loss:

"I am 42 years old and have been on a permanent diet for the past 30 years. The logic is simple and irrefutable: any self-respecting woman wants to be thin, and to be thin you need to spend your life on a diet"

"I have only ever dated men who kept a strict eye on my figure. My partners are not only boyfriends but weight-loss coaches"

"My first love continually reminded me that one can never be too rich or too thin, and my husband of five years frequently tells me that if I put on weight he will divorce me"

(Describing a family holiday after losing some weight as a teenager) "The first summer I felt thin coincided with a family holiday abroad. While this provided an opportunity to show off my svelte new figure, I had to watch my calorie intake even more carefully"
"I fainted with hunger on one occasion - a minor (!) hitch, eclipsed by the fact that I was being asked out on lots of dates"

"At college I invented the Polo diet. Eating a pack of mints for breakfast and another for lunch, I could make each one last hours. I am 5ft 11in and slimmed down to a size 8. One of my lecturers was so worried she pulled me aside to voice her concern. I put her intervention down to jealousy, as she was a size 16"

"In my early 30s I lived in Los Angeles. The entire city is permanently on a diet, heaven for a serial dieter like me. I was a size 8, and became accustomed to surviving on fewer than 1,000 calories a day. I'd have a large black coffee for breakfast, so strong the caffeine would make me tremble. For lunch I'd eat a bagel with the bread inside scooped out and replaced with salad. Evening meals were either sushi or egg-white omelette's"

"To avoid culinary temptation, I even made a point of renting a house without a kitchen"

"There is no better weight-loss incentive than a Frenchman. Pascal would not tolerate a fat wife and has told me that if I put on weight, our marriage is over. What more motivation do I need?"

"As I see it, there is nothing in life that signifies failure better than fat"

There's a thin line between genius and insanity. I'd love to think that Chris Morris was behind this. If not then this woman is completely mental.

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